When Hermit Crabs rocked up to the first annual evolutionary beach party, they were shocked to discover that the other crabs there all had extremely tough exoskeletons to protect them from predators. The Hermit Crabs’ exoskeletons were so soft and squishy.
After the party ended, the Hermit Crabs gathered together and decided they needed to come up with a solution – after all, seven of them had been crushed by falling coconuts that evening alone.
Several hours of heated debate had passed, but the Hermit Crabs were no closer to a solution. The best idea they’d come up with so far was to jump in a bowl of Ice Magic Ice Cream Topping every morning, but they all agreed that would probably just attract more predators.
They had been so enamoured by the discussion that no-one had noticed Harold – one of the quieter crabs – sneak off and scuttle towards a pile of discarded mollusc shells at one end of the beach.
He returned a few moments later carrying a white conical shell on his back, and timidly raised his voice.
“Hey, um, guys… what if we used these shells as protection?” he enquired.
Raucous laughter erupted from the group. Several crabs fell backwards and then couldn’t get back up again, sending the group into another fit of giggles.
“You’ve got to be joking?” cried one crab.
“You look like you’ve been attacked with whipped cream,” joked another.
Suddenly, as the crabs began to hurl more cruel insults, a seagull dived down and began viciously attacking Harold. Over and over, the bird stabbed the poor Hermit Crab with its pointed beak, and ripped at him with its sharp talons. The other Hermit Crabs watched on in fear – laughter had turned to horror in the blink of an eye.
After several violent minutes, the seagull finally ended the massacre and took flight once more. All that was left of Harold was the small shell that they had been teasing him about. The Hermit Crabs were filled with shame.
They cautiously began to scuttle towards the shell, several could feel the tears starting to well up in their eyes. But just at that moment, the shell seemed to twitch. The crabs jumped back in shock. Then it moved again.
A small leg crept out from under the shell. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another.
By this point, the suspense was killing everyone, but Hermit Crabs have ten legs so what are you gonna do?
Finally, Harold emerged, completely unscathed from the terrifying incident. The other crabs rushed over to him and lifted him into the air in celebration. They carried him over to the pile of empty shells and they all stayed there until sunrise, trying on shells and attempting to find the perfect fit.
Harold became a hero, and the Hermit Crabs lived happily ever after in their hilariously adorable makeshift exoskeletons.
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A pair of Hermit Crabs (Coenobita sp.), Wagait Beach, Australia